The All New, All Different Vanguard

Buddies

The Rosecrusian Failsafe

"Wisdom, saith Solomon, is to a man an infinite treasure."

Greetings. If you can understand this message you have inadvertently triggered one or more of the 349,834,211 non-recommended behaviors covered by the Rosecrusian Failsafe. I am A.M.A.N.D.A. and I am here to assist with your peaceful surrender. You have knowingly or unknowing performed one or more offenses that require penalization. I will now grant you one moment to enjoy how similar the word penalization sounds to the unrelated word penis...

That is the last moment you will be allotted for enjoyment until your sentence expires. I do hope it brought you genuine emotion. Buddies are on route to your location. I have also established an intelligence inhibitor in this localized spacial quadrant. It is currently set at Stage 1. At your assumed I.Q. level you should not yet be noticing any affect. I will increase the strength of the inhibitor by one stage every thirty seconds until you surrender yourselves for sentencing. 

The Remarkable Chambermaiden

-Failure-

No information available.

-Failure-

Query logged. Please remain calm. A technical help Buddy will be dispatched to your location immediately.

Janitor Robot

Janitor Robot is the last known robot assembled since Victory Day. He is also the stupidest. In the new galactic dictionary under the entry for "Idiot" there is only a photo of Janitor Robot. Janitor Robot spends his entire unceasing existence cleaning up the foul waste byproducts produced by small brained biological entities that cover the disgusting cubicles they dedicate toward evacuating their meat bowels. It is not incorrect for one to hypothesize that Janitor Robot constantly reeks of the odor of spent excrement. You may watch Janitor Robot go about his lowly demeaning tasks 24/7 on channel 12,937,324 and for Janitor Robot highlights, lowlights and the special all day Tuesday gag-reel subscribe to CH.12937324F. Billions upon billions of tiny brains already have!

Capt Scartax, Pirate Prince from Planetoid X

Captain Scartax is one of the last few criminals left in the universe. Despite his flair for flamboyancy and swashbuckling he and his small pirate fleet from Planetoid X continue to confound the galactic authorities. Capable of appearing and disappearing all throughout the universal shipping lanes, wrecking havoc on commerce and travel.

Hushed rumors say that he is actually one of the fabled Vanguard who have risen from the shadows since Victory Day in an attempt to topple our peaceful, post-scarcity galactic society. They say that Scartax and his pirates steal from the rich only to give to the poor, which is a ludicrous claim in this day and age and clearly only something a tiny biological brain would think up.

Issue 2.16 The Vanishing Point Event

When we last saw our vigilant heroes they had six of the nine crystals they needed and were searching deep within the ruins of Freedom Halls for the seventh crystal; Ajna the violet crystal of Inner Most Understanding.

Freedom Halls is a massive planet-sized space station that once was home to 19 billion citizens, but now its population is only one. The fleet of the Star Khan attacked Freedom Halls just hours ago, decimating the peaceful space platform, easily laying waste to their Special Friend protectors and enslaving billions of unlikely souls. But Doctor Lexicon Lemuria avoided all that in his specially shielded panic bunker deep in the center of the central hall. He is the genius behind Freedom Halls, the inventor of the Special Friends and also the last known possessor of the violet Chakra crystal.

The Vanguard found Lemuria, wounded and hiding, in his bunker. He was happy to help his rescuers but regretted to inform the Vanguard that Ajna was no longer in his possession.

In fact it was no longer accessible at all.

Lemuria had sent it to Earth...

In 1983...

Through a stable time tunnel he co-engineered with a Earthman named Tox Colfera. A time tunnel capable if rewriting the present. And when Doctor Robot sent his college-aged human counterpart a paradoxical message through the tunnel everything changed in an instant.


Except Adelia Karinsdotttir. The present reality as she knows it to be is but a tiny vanishing point on the horizon of the infinite. She has just entered...